What Does It Even Feel Like To Heal?
There are so many approaches to "healing" nowadays that we can often get numb to the phrase because honestly, a lot of what is being offered is complete bullshit. We read self help books and listen to podcasts. We learn a LOT of information that sounds really good and makes a lot of sense but we don't truly know what it means to HEAL. To grow. To evolve. We know what it means to figure out why we are a certain way, we can recognize patterns in our life, we can learn to cope with "the way we are", we may think things get better over time, we can shift our mindset to a more positive one, we might have a solid routine that can keep our thoughts and feelings away, we can find hobbies that make us feel good, we can search out relationships that are supportive but none of that is healing. Healing is an energetic process. It is not temporary, it is permanent. Yes, it may feel like a roller coaster as the deeper you get, the more you uncover, but as you authentically heal, your new baseline becomes a higher frequency.
I remember being in a toxic relationship, leaving for 3 years just to end up in the same exact relationship. I thought I grew, I thought I truly healed and was about to be in a more elevated and wholesome relationship but that was not the case at all. Why? Because I did not heal anything. I did not change. I was the same person the first time around as the second time around even though it had been three years and I swore I wouldn't fall into the same cycles and I'd stand up for myself this time. The thing is our programs are stronger than our will. The energetic frequencies and wounds stored in our body, our subconscious programming, will win 99% of the time and that 1%, that 1% is force. You are either forcing against what you energetically are which makes life incredibly hard, or you are letting your programs run the show creating an unconscious life that you have a lot less control of than you think.
As you heal, you bring the lower frequencies, wounds and emotions up to transform, to alchemize with the Power and Love that you are resulting in you being more aligned with the real you. The highest version of yourself. What it truly means to elevate, to become a "high vibration" (this term that is very overused and very misunderstood). Here is a simple example of what it feels like as your energetic fields are literally elevating:
Part of my certification program is going through the same healing process that we guide our clients through and when I was about 4 months into the program, I realized something. I started noticing that when I would go out and have some drinks, my hangovers would last WEEKS when they normally last a day. It took me weeks to finally feel like my normal self. I then naturally did not want to drink anymore. I became so sensitive to what it was doing to my body and energy fields and the density of what even a single sip made me feel like. This was because I was transforming all the programs that kept me numb to my sensitivities and my overall energy fields were so high that I could feel the stark contrast of such a low frequency of the alcohol in my system and I did not like it. It would then take me a couple weeks to feel as good as I did before I drank, to feel more like me. When people want to quit an addiction such as alcohol, they make it so hard on themselves by just trying to use their willpower that if they were to go in and truly transform and truly heal, they would feel no draw to drink at all. It is a lot easier to quit an addiction if you have no interest in partaking. This is no judgement to those who drink alcohol by any means, this is just an example of how I felt that I was truly elevating.
Sometimes it can be hard to tell, am I even changing? What is even happening? This is when it is key to pay attention to the subtle energies flowing through you. Are you being triggered into the same things as before? Are the relationships you once had with friends and family that felt icky now not drawing you in? Are you out of your head more and in presence with life? Do you feel a sense of freedom? Is the joy/happiness you feel coming from a deeper place within you vs. just a temporary dopamine hit where you feel the same shitty feelings a day or two later?
It's hard to know what "healing modalities" actually work and can be very disheartening when you feel like you have tried everything. If something is truly working, you should feel it, permanently. You will evolve out of old unhealthy habits, relationships, careers, beliefs, thoughts and behaviors naturally. There is no force involved. When you do this, it allows space for what it is you truly desire for your life. Everything will flow. That does not mean you won't experience challenges, but you know that you have the power to face whatever comes your way and move through it gracefully by growing and becoming what you need to become in that moment.
With Love,
Madison
